Monthly Archives: February 2004

Pet Peeves… Literally

Some peeves I have about people and their pets (don't get me wrong, I love pets, both cats and dogs, but there are a few things that really bug me)…

* Pugs in clothes: You've seen them, the little raincoats and sweaters and t-shirts. They look ridiculous on any dog, but pugs in particular look utterly step-on-able.

* People who walk their cats: Face it, you can't have an outdoor cat in the city. Put one of those harness leashes on a cat and you end up dragging the hissing, clawing beast around the block… Walk the cat without a leash and you look like an idiot with hands full of bells, feathers, and cat toys as you're calling your cat's name to get it to come back.

* Retractable leashes: These are the leashes that have the spring-loaded spool to automatically retract or extend, depending on how far away the dog walks, which is actually a pretty good idea. Well, these leashes also have a button which STOPS THEM FROM EXTENDING. Learn to use this button! Walking your dog doesn't need to be like throwing around a 30 ft. long yo-yo of death. Except if you're talking on your cell phone at the same time, then I completely forgive you for tripping everyone on the entire sidewalk.

* Chihuahuas: Enough said.

* Street kids with pets: We know you're not homeless, because you're only on the street when the weather's nice. Having a cute dog by your side isn't going to get you any of my sympathy but I do feel bad for the dog stuck with your sorry panhandling ass, eating nothing but the grease off your Jack-in-the-Box wrappers. Leave it at home.

Where the heck did that weekend go?

Friday night started off with the work crowd at the VIP room of the Bad Juju Lounge, for a send-off party for a (now former) coworker. Apparently the “VIP” in “VIP room” means flat screen TVs and a fish tank. After that was a stop at the grocery store to stock up on beer supplies for the house-warming party that Jed and I threw at our new place. From what little I remember, and what people have told me, it was crazy. Jed posted the only picture that ended up on my camera from that night, right here.

Saturday disappeared in a blur of sleep, hangover, ride to the airport to send Andy on his way back East, and then off to the hockey game. Jed did the work of posting the best of the pictures I took, here. Good times were had by all, except maybe the Thunderbirds, who lost. And their goalie, who not only had to deal with the loss, but got the living shit knocked out of him in an ugly, ugly hit.

Sunday disappeared with a 48 mile round-trip bike ride with Alex and Sal, out to the Redhook Brewery and back. It was in the mid-60's all day, all of the mountains were out, and surprisingly, after not having ridden much in the past few months, I thoroughly enjoyed the long ride.

Oh, and Sunday night, someone was stabbed in front of the apartment complex right next to ours. It made for a nice show of flashing lights from our porch. At one point I counted, 3 police cars, 2 ambulances, one firetruck (!?), and what our neighbors referred to as “the drunk van”. Seem like overkill for a stabbing? Well, apparently the suspect fled the scene, and they were hunting him down. What's a neighborhood without armed men on the loose?

Remebering dreams gets easier and easier…

Once you get in the habit of it, I've found it gets easier and easier to remember dreams, especially when you keep up the habit of writing them down. So, you're going to have to deal with yet another odd dream recollection…

Hamsters. I dreamt I got a couple hamsters. They were living in a temporary box in my room, and it came time to move them to their new home, a fancy aquarium full of wood chips. I went over to the box, ready to move them to their new home and lo-and-behold the female hamster I'd gotten, had been pregnant and had given birth to 5 tiny pink baby hamsters which were squirming around, nursing from her. I decided to wait until the next day before moving the new family of hamsters. The next day I checked on the box, and all of the babies were still nursing from the mother. How was I going to pick up and move the hamsters like this? Maybe if I slid something underneath all of them, I could pick that up and move them all at once? Should I pull each baby off the mother's teets, one by one, and put them in the new aquarium? If I lifted the mother, would the babies' sucking power be enough to hold on while I moved the whole mass together? This debating and decision-making process went on for quite a while. There were so many considerations when it came to this fragile batch of critters. In the end I opted for the sliding something underneath and lifting them all. Success.

Birds need coffee too and Happy 200


This bird was hopping around on the second floor of the coffee shop during lunch, eating crumbs here and there. I opened the window in hopes that it would find the way out, and it almost immediately hopped closer, then up to the window sill and out onto the branch outside. It paused for a moment and flew off.

This is also the 200th entry on this weblog. Just doing my part, adding to the pile of useless crap on the internet, and helping cute little birds.

Dreamt in pieces

Walking into a gigantic warehouse of beige PCs to find one part to fix a friend's computer…

Competing in a sports event involving skiing, roller-blading and juggling…

Will Smith and an Indian girlfriend of his, asking me to join them in a threesome…

Seeing hundreds of multi-colored Apples to Apples cards swirling about, taunting me with words I couldn't read…

Cats can play all the time


C: “What's the saying, 'When the mice are away, the cats will play?'”
J: “No, C. Cats can play all the time.”

Hammer and the Doc have been much like cats in this respect. Lots of playing, sleeping, drinking and farting. I thoroughly enjoyed the same all weekend. I open my apartment door when I get home from work, and I hear, “Daddy's home!” shouted from the living room, only to see the Admiral still in his PJ's and his Homer Simpson slippers. He did bring up a good point though… Are they still pajamas if you wear them all the time?

Here's the play-by-play of the battle between myself and the Ikea desk I got on Saturday:

* Taking pieces out out box, metal bar falls on my toe; Desk, 1 point
* Hacksaw required to cut badly threaded screw; Desk, 2 points
* Attached a support at a diagonal, instead of straight, took 15 minutes to figure out why the next piece wasn't fitting; Desk, 3 points
* Scraped knuckle on rough edge, drew blood; Desk, 4 points
* Finally finished the desk; Me, 1 point

Final score: Desk – 4, Me – 1. Desk wins.

And lastly, the Hammer made up some beer/mix drink/shot icons for us to keep track of our drinking. Last Thursday night looks something like this:

Saturday went something like:

And last night was:

Just looking at this, I'm pretty sure I don't want to keep track of it all. It's just scary. But on the plus side, the PBR can pyramid is almost complete. If we want to continue building, we may need to move it to the patio.

Livin’ near the Triple Bizzle-vizzle

**UPDATE: The Doc and the Hammer made it to Seattle! They showed up at 4:30AM, exhausted but alive and well. We spent until 6AM unpacking the essentials, then promptly crashed. Pictures from their trip should be up soon.

This sign is now just a stone's throw away. Moved into the new place on Saturday, and with the help of my patented Moving-Moustache™ things went nice and smooth.

As you can see from this next picture, all of the essentials were set up in time for the “Big Tit”… I mean… the “Tit Game”… er, the “Super Boob”…

It turned into a nice group of 5 of us drinking lots of beer, eating even more chips, and mostly trying to ignore the so-called “football game”. There were high hopes for the commercials this year, but in a rare turn of events, the game was more interesting (except for the donkey commercial, of course).

The new apartment also came with a great pet. She's such an amazing character, she's already built herself 6 spectacular homes in the doorway to the patio. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure it's a she. I think I'll name her Patty.

It's now 3:45AM and Jed and Andy are about 50 miles out. They got caught up in some snow coming through the mountains, but they're still pushing on. The new Seattle era is about to begin…


January's search string All-Star lineup:

* neck-hair hairy
* actual picture of pubic crabs
* cool things to say while drunk
* eskimos kissing picture
* home strippers kokomo in
* i like my coffee like i like my women with large breasts
* intelligent collections of abstract thought patterns
* intestine drunk
* like my coffee men cold bitter
* my ster fucked
* penis cheese
* sledding fractured her
* smell feet

Janet Jackson’s Boob

We were all wondering whether we really saw it. On checking the tape (yes, I was taping it all)… Yup, Janet Jackson's boob. Photo of the moment is online here, and the Yahoo news photo here (extreme closeup here?). Still photos certainly don't capture the accompanying jiggle. Was it intentional? Most sources say yes. Ken did point out that the lyric of the song at that moment was, “I'll have you naked by the end of this song.” Way to go Justin (and MTV).