The MissShady Saga: Part VI, The Epic

Full back story can be found here.

(all AIM screennames have been changed to protect the innocent, and the just plain dumb)

The DanteGil story had fallen flat, and I hadn't seen MissShady or LilMissShady online at all. Things were getting slow, but then one day I get a message from “bajanka”. This screenname had the same numbers at the end as the MissShady and LilMissShady screennames, so from the start I was pretty sure it was her. The conversation quickly confirmed that.

This also brings us completely up-to-date with the MissShady Saga. Not much more of an introduction is really necessary. Brace yourselves, it's a long one.

bajanka: fuck you fag
Me: hey hon
bajanka: ?
Me: missed you
bajanka: u know who this is?
Me: do you know who THIS is?
bajanka: 17/spanish
bajanka: ?
Me: you live in spain?
bajanka: no
bajanka: you do
Me: I've never been. Always wanted to visit.
Me: So where are you from then?
bajanka: alabama
bajanka: you?
Me: Idaho. just outside Boise
bajanka: how old r u?
Me: 19
bajanka: u go to school?
Me: just graduated highschool in the spring
bajanka: i'm getting my ged
Me: cool. how old are you?
bajanka: 17
Me: do you work?
bajanka: yeah
Me: what do you do?
bajanka: i work at a tanning salon
Me: I thought the tanning beds did most of the work there
bajanka: we do waxes too
Me: yowch
bajanka: i do bakini waxes
Me: sunburns and bikini waxes all in one place!
bajanka: yep
bajanka: you need one?
Me: haha. no. I'm a guy
bajanka: i know
Me: but I did shave my legs for the swimteam in highschool
bajanka: sexy
bajanka: eyebrows too?
Me: no, that'd be a little much
Me: shaved head though
bajanka: bald?
Me: when I swam, yeah
bajanka: oh
Me: I'm growing it out now
bajanka: i like the low cut hair
Me: do you get hooked up with free tans and waxes?
bajanka: hell yeah
Me: very nice
Me: what type/color hair do you have?
bajanka: straight and brownish
Me: do you have any piercings?
bajanka: my nose and tounge
Me: cool
bajanka: you?
Me: tongue, both ears and nipples
bajanka: i had one of my nipples peirced
Me: had?
bajanka: yeah
bajanka: i took it out
bajanka: i heard they go numb after a while
Me: maybe if you have too many guys playing with it ;-)
bajanka: i wish
Me: aw, no love interests?
bajanka: they're imprisoned right now
Me: been there done that
Me: what for?
bajanka: burglery
Me: oh man
Me: were there people in the house?
bajanka: yeah
bajanka: they were passed out drunk
Me: haha
Me: was the guy a minor?
bajanka: no he's 20
bajanka: he was 19
Me: wow, so how long is he in for?
bajanka: 25 months
bajanka: he's been in for almost 10
Me: you still in touch with him, or have you moved on?
bajanka: i write him
bajanka: and he get's on work release in september
bajanka: and he get's 8 hour home visits
bajanka: in sept
Me: yay. not too long then.
bajanka: yep
Me: you planning a welcome home surprise? ;-)
bajanka: yep i got a french tickler tounge ring ball and 20 condoms waiting for him
Me: wow, lucky guy
bajanka: he don't even know
Me: he sure will after that night
bajanka: i can't wait
bajanka: you involed with any body
Me: my girlfriend and I just broke up after graduation
Me: goin' our separate ways, yadda, yadda…
bajanka: sorry
Me: it was mutual, not a big deal
bajanka: oh
Me: we were only together for 4 months
Me: just messing around. knew it wouldn't last
bajanka: did ya;ll fuck?
bajanka: ya'll
bajanka: oops
Me: yup
bajanka: was it worth it?
Me: hell yeah, she was pretty fine
bajanka: how was the pussy?
Me: it kept me coming back
bajanka: shaved?
Me: yeah, even her eyebrows
bajanka: lol
Me: smooth as silk
Me: do you shave?
bajanka: wax
Me: right
Me: the brazillian
bajanka: ?
Me: a brazillian wax
bajanka: oh
Me: (cringe)
Me: must be painful
bajanka: you have no idea
Me: your boyfriend enjoy it?
bajanka: i don't have a boyfriend
Me: the guy you were seeing, who's in jail
Me: whatever you want to call him
bajanka: oh
bajanka: he will enjoy it
Me: have you fucked him before?
bajanka: 3 times
Me: does he give good head?
bajanka: i don't know yet
bajanka: we never got to that
bajanka: we will though
bajanka: september
Me: even more to look forward to
bajanka: yep
bajanka: what r u wearing?
Me: wife-beater shirt and black cargo pants
Me: you?
bajanka: eminem shirt and jaens
Me: bra?
bajanka: yep
bajanka: it's white
Me: do you have any tattoos?
bajanka: not yet
bajanka: i'm going to go learn how to do tatoos and body peircing
Me: awesome
Me: what kind of tattoo would you want?
bajanka: i dunno
bajanka: my friend john is gonna let me practice on him
Me: hehe, brave soul
Me: are you an artist?
bajanka: some might say that
bajanka: i'm quite modest
Me: what kind of stuff do you do?
bajanka: any thing really
bajanka: i can draw something if i'm looking at it
Me: cool
Me: I'm jealous
Me: I have no artistic talent
bajanka: i can't help it
Me: have you been with anyone else since this guy went to jail?
bajanka: 3 people
Me: any good?
bajanka: 1
bajanka: no 2
Me: heh, that hard to remember?
bajanka: the third stuck it in my ass with out my permission
Me: did you slap him?
bajanka: no he held me down and wouldn't let me move
bajanka: i cried
Me: that's usually called sexual assault, or rape
bajanka: yeah well i just cut him off
Me: not literally, I hope
bajanka: naw
bajanka: i just ain't given him no more
Me: damn right
Me: was that the first time you got it in the ass?
bajanka: nope
bajanka: the second
Me: do you enjoy it (when you agree to it)?
bajanka: when there's k y jelly involved
Me: and lots of it
bajanka: yep
Me: you should try astroglide
Me: ever been with two guys at once?
bajanka: nope
bajanka: that's not me
Me: a cock in each hole wouldn't do it for ya?
bajanka: hell to the no
Me: good girl
bajanka: i try
Me: naughty, but good
Me: ;-)
bajanka: what do you listen to?
Me: little bit of everything
Me: mostly indie rock
bajanka: brb
Me: k

At this point she tried directly connecting, and my AIM crashed. I started it up again.

bajanka: wtf?
Me: this computer just totally bugged out
bajanka: oh
bajanka: i was gonna send you a pic of sexy micheal jackson
Me: oooo
Me: try again?
Attempting to directly connect to bajanka.
You are now directly connected to bajanka.

bajankajackson.jpg

Me: he is nasty
bajanka: NO SHIT
bajanka: he was the third
Me: have any prettier pictures?
Me: any of you?
bajanka: nope
bajanka: you?
Me: no, not on this computer
bajanka: you have two?
Me: my parents (divorced) both have one
bajanka: oh sorry
bajanka: they still alive
bajanka: ?
Me: yup, alive and kickin'
Me: literally
Me: they used to kick me when i was a kid
bajanka: sorry
Me: no big deal. they're cool now.
Me: your parents still around?
bajanka: my mom is
bajanka: i don't know my dad
Me: that must be tough
bajanka: i thought your dad died pretending to be toxie?
Me: what are you talking about?
bajanka: shpadoinkle?
Me: shpa-what?
bajanka: yeah ok?
Me: my IM is shpa-something-, is that what you mean?
bajanka: no you know what vi'm talkin bout
bajanka: don't play stupid
bajanka: what's my paasword?
Me: how would I know that?
bajanka: oh and you talked tou my friend dant gil
bajanka: you knew it last time
Me: I have no clue what you're talking about
bajanka: MISSSHADY
Me: my brother may have been fucking around with my IM
Me: I kick his little nerd ass
bajanka: OH OK
bajanka: i might believe you
Me: fuck. I'll have to get a new screenname that he doesn't know about
bajanka: so, you don't know anything about troma?
Me: uh, nope
bajanka: how old is your brother?
bajanka: and where did you get your screen name?
Me: two years younger than me, 17
bajanka: is he spanish?
bajanka: is he married?
bajanka: does he live in spain?
Me: um, no, he's a little computer dork that sits in front of his computer all day long
bajanka: well, if your telling the truth…
bajanka: that's what he told me
Me: that's kinda funny. why would he pretend to be married? he should pretend to have a life
Me: then maybe he'd get some
bajanka: “he” also said him and his old lady are trying to have a baby
Me: LOL!
Me: I think he deserves a few kidney punches
bajanka: so, you never talked to missShady?
Me: nope
bajanka: “he” stole my screen name
Me: I saw the name on my buddylist, but I had no idea why
Me: wow, sorry
Me: I promise I'll kick his butt for you
bajanka: well “he” can eat shit and die
bajanka: do you have a hacking program?
Me: I'll pass that along
Me: I don't
bajanka: my brother wants to know
Me: who knows what my brother has
bajanka: “your brother” can eat my ass
bajanka: and tell “him” iwant my screen name back
Me: will do
Me: in the meantime, I'll get a new screenname, and maybe we can chat again without his fucking with things
bajanka: ok, well i got to go for now
Me: same here
Me: I've got a 17 year old to pound on
bajanka: kick him in the face for me
Me: definitely
bajanka: bye now
Me: I'll catch you later

4 thoughts on “The MissShady Saga: Part VI, The Epic

  1. The Admiral

    wow…

    just…wow

    so you’re telling me she actually *likes* it up the ass?

    dude, that’s messed up.

    Reply
  2. andy l.

    I really hope for her sake she is lying.

    But I like the fact that you played dumb with the Cannibal reference and she bought it.. even though your “brother” knew the reference..

    Reply

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