The MissShady Saga: Part IV

Full back story can be found here.

(all AIM screennames have been changed to protect the innocent, and the just plain dumb)

MissShady was quite upset with me in our last conversation, and a few days went by without any word from her. I started getting bored, and instead of simply unblocking myself this time, and waiting around for her to speak to me, I decided to try something new. I was going to become MissShady. I went to log in, and her password had changed yet again. This time when checking my e-mail, I noticed that someone else must have clicked on the “I forgot my password” button when logging into the MissShady account. There were three e-mails waiting for me from the past couple days, all with her new Password #3: vaughn. This could have been the real MissShady, honestly forgetting her password after changing it so many times, or it could have been any number of other people. Anyway, the important part was that I was ready to try some undercover work.

Only one of MissShady's buddies was online, so I made the easy decision that he'd have to be the one. Now remember, in the following conversation I am MissShady.

MissShady: hey baby
Dante Gil: hey/
MissShady: what's up?
Dante Gil: nothing
Dante Gil: getting ready for the show
Dante Gil: you?
MissShady: the same. (if you know what I mean)
MissShady: ;-)

I do not have the slightest clue what I mean.

Dante Gil: where's BJS
MissShady: I'm not sure
MissShady: you have any idea?
Dante Gil: i've been talking to this hot girl
MissShady: how hot?
Dante Gil: very
Dante Gil: i've got a pic
MissShady: oooo… send it!
Attempting to directly connect to DanteGil.
You are now directly connected to DanteGil.

Dante Gil: cool huh
MissShady: very.
MissShady: so cool I want to lick her like a popscicle
Dante Gil: she has 11 piercings
Dante Gil: i was thinking like
Dante Gil: 5 in her ears
Dante Gil: one in lip
Dante Gil: one in belly button
Dante Gil: and 4 in her ####
MissShady: mmmm…. yummy
MissShady: how long before you find out where those last 4 are?
Dante Gil: soon i hope
Dante Gil: yano
MissShady: aww… I wish I could be a part of that
Dante Gil: yep
Dante Gil: i'm a loser though so i won't get anywhere with her

This is where I suddenly decided to play the part of a friend and a relationship counselor.

MissShady: sure you will. in reality all girls love losers. she probably digs you already.
Dante Gil: haha
MissShady: she'll come around (no pun intended)
Dante Gil: what should i do?
Dante Gil: ask for her #? ask on a date?
Dante Gil: she says she thinks she's got a crush on me
Dante Gil: i don't think that's a bad thing
MissShady: if she's already dropped that gigantic hint, then of course you should go for it.
MissShady: loser. ;-)
Dante Gil: ….
Dante Gil: what do i do though?
MissShady: next time you talk with her, ask her out.
MissShady: get her number and give her a call
Dante Gil: ask her out online?
Dante Gil: what should i ask her to do??
Dante Gil: when do i get her number??
Dante Gil: i can't call though, i'll be a nervous fucking disaster
MissShady: you'd be even more nervous in person, if you'd never talked to her ahead of time
Dante Gil: so
Dante Gil: i ask her out on a date, then for her #?
MissShady: next time you chat online, ask if she'd like to chat on the phone at some point
Dante Gil: is dinner and movies good? that's boring as hell though
MissShady: see how things go from there
Dante Gil: or do i set up the date on the phone
MissShady: set up the date on the phone
Dante Gil: right
MissShady: if you really hit it off with her
MissShady: chances are she'd be just as nervous as you. you've got nothing to worry about.
MissShady: she's quite a catch.
MissShady: I gotta run
Dante Gil: okay
Dante Gil: thanks for the help.
Dante Gil: talk to you layter.
Dante Gil: later.
Dante Gil: bye
MissShady: sure
MissShady: let me know how it goes
MissShady: see ya, cutie-pie

I could say so much more about this conversation, but I think it speaks volumes on its own. It's a touching coming-of-age story about adolescence, sexuality, stupid sunglasses and absurd numbers of holes pierced in one's body.

4 thoughts on “The MissShady Saga: Part IV

  1. The Admiral

    “ItÕs a touching coming-of-age story about adolescence, sexuality, stupid sunglasses and absurd numbers of holes pierced in oneÕs body.”

    that’s bloody brilliant, very well said. as for the rest of the situation…


    think of yourself as a guardian angel, who stepped in at just the right time. the real missshady wouldn’t have given him anywhere near the advice you gave.

    though it appears whatever you say, he’ll never get a date, he seems like an awfully big weenie.

    now please excuse me, i need to go read about the new lord of the rings movie.

  2. redbeard

    Oh, if only someone like you had taken one of my friend’s AIM names when I was a wee lad, who knows where I might be in the world today…HA!

  3. andy l.

    you should have tried to subtly get info about miss shady, like, “soo.. do you have any pictures of me that i sent you? all mine got deleted” or “what has BJS been up to these days anyway and why do I know him”

  4. liz

    You oughta dumb it down a bit though. I cant picture MissShady saying “No pun intended” but I think I give her a lot less credit thatn you all do.


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