The MissShady Saga: Part II

(all AIM screennames have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not so innocent)

If you haven't already, you should read Part I first. I also made a small addition to Part I, that I only now remembered (so hard to keep the timeline of this whole thing straight). The only preface I really want to give for Part II, is that pieces of the original conversation were lost due to IM windows getting closed accidentally. Some of what follows is what I saved, some is pieced together from memory.

The next time MissShady and I chatted, she wrote to me first…

MissShady: hey bitch
Me: what's up, slut
MissShady: how'd you know?
Me: your mom told me
Me: who's curtis?

“Curtis” was the first password of hers.

MissShady: exscuse me?
Me: who is curtis?
Me: your mom mentioned him too
MissShady: bite me
Me: how's jacksonville treating you?
MissShady: ooo, tell me more about myself
MissShady: I already told you where I lived
Me: I know. I was just asking how things were going.
MissShady: shut up
MissShady: virgin
Me: was that supposed to be an insult?
MissShady: yeah
MissShady: virgin
MissShady: when was the last time you had sex?
Me: that is a very personal question
Me: when was the last time you had sex?
MissShady: two weeks ago
Me: how was he?
MissShady: not bad. I've had better
Me: how old is your kid?
MissShady: i don't have any kids
MissShady: except your two
Me: what's that supposed to mean?
Me: that I fucked you and you have since given birth to two of my kids?
Me: that I had two kids who you have since kidnapped?
MissShady: yes
MissShady: so when was the last time you had sex?
Me: last night, with my wife
MissShady: hahahaha
MissShady: your wife? liar
MissShady: you said you were 17
Me: where I come from, it is customary to get married at a young age.
Me: we married when she was 15 and I was 16
MissShady: i don't believe you
Me: we are trying for a child
MissShady: where do you live?
Me: I already told you
MissShady: you said you were hispanic
Me: I said I was Spanish
Me: I live in Spain
MissShady: yeah
MissShady: right
MissShady: your so full of shit
MissShady: say hello to the block

And with that, she blocked me for the second time (addition to Part I clarifies the first block). I waited a few minutes and then logged on, as her, and unblocked myself. When you log on in a new location with the same screenname, the original location pops up with a message, “You have been disconnected. You have logged on with this same screen name at a different location.” Or something along those lines. So, MissShady saw this message, logged back on and saw my screenname had been unblocked. My cover had pretty much been blown.

MissShady: you're a fuckin pathetic nerd with no life
MissShady: grow up

Yes, she hit the nail right on the head. I won't even pretend to deny it. Except that I do.

Me: what?
MissShady: fuck you

I was blocked again. I waited a while before trying to log in as MissShady again. When I tried to sign in, “curtis” no longer worked. Whoops! I forgot my password… Check yahoo e-mail account… Password #2: shinoda

Comments

2 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. oh dear lord, this is farking brilliant. It reminds me of the middle schooler somewhere in Texas who, at least once every 6 months, IM’s me thinking I’m someone named Jeremy. Each time it take 3-4 conversations to convince her, no, I am indeed, not Jeremy. This became such a ritual that for a while, I played along (I was unemployed and bored at the time – surely you must remember). Then she began having Jeremy’s other friends contact me as well. I thought this was amusing, but ultimately time consuming, so I ended each conversation in some manner to make them contact Jeremy in real life to discuss whatever we were just talking about. It worked for all of them except the original LilMissShawTie or whatever her name was.

    As she was just a kid, I felt it would be kinda mean to block her, and who knew what repercussions it would have on her delicate middle-school social life – who knows, maybe she was courting this Jeremy – and remembering how messed up middle school was in the first place, I didn’t want to make it any worse. So, it took somewhere on the order of 5-10 conversations to convince her that no, indeed, I really REALLY am not Jeremy. And so, we’ve gone back to our 6 month schedule. It really is quite amazing.

  2. The Admiral,

    Instant messaging can be funny, as well as misunderstood. For example, i remember this one time in school, my friend jeremy was trying to hook up with this chick, and she kept yelling at him because of the things he claimed to have ‘forgotten about’ during the chat they had the night before. she got so upset with him because he always played stupid about the IM conversations they’d have. i think the chick is crazy, because jeremy insisted he never said such things. poor ol’ jeremy…the whole situation was so hard on him, he decided to take his own life. i guess he deserved it, though. after all, it was his fault he was so forgetful. what with being an all star athlete, always having his head in the books, volunteering at the old folks home…knowing him, he was probably too busy researching the cure for cancer, or AIDS (something he liked to do in his free time) that he just got a little sidetracked during his conversations. maybe he should have dedicated a bit more time to his freinds.

    i guess we all can only learn from jeremy’s mistakes.

    Godspeed!

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